The 2013 Boaz Movie Tally (Where Have I Been?!)

25 Mar


Synopsis: “An obsessed movie blogger tries to make his big comeback. The problem – he doesn’t know where to start!”

The synopsis above is true, I genuinely have no idea where to even begin. My last movie post was on June 26th. That’s enough for an entire inception, conception, incubation and delivery of a human baby. In that amount of time Adi read about 15-20 books, and I must have read a much more impressive 36 issues of Entertainment Weekly (sorry Adi, men are simply faster readers than women, blame science).

In that time I’ve tried my best to keep up with countless TV show series (I could easily have an entire TV blog too, trust me), I’ve hosted countless poker games (okay that’s a lie, I actually keep a poker tally so I could tell you exactly how many poker games I’ve hosted), an yes, I’ve continued to see MANY moves inside a movie theater with Adi and/or friends. So what gives? Why have I literally not posted for 36 plus weeks?

Here’s what happened in 2012:

-I got engaged in February, but that’s old news that I proudly wrote about here.

-I passed my nursing board exam in April, and got a job at Saint John’s in Santa Monica in May where I worked for a few months as a CNA waiting for the new graduate RN program to begin.

-I started as an RN in August, and within 2 weeks I also started a Master’s program to help further my nursing license. Am I happy to be back in school so soon? Not in the slightest. Is it important for my career? Unfortunately, yup.

-I spent months with Adi planning our AMAZING wedding, and we even had our dear friend Sarah design table cards that were movie titles instead of numbers. Here’s a photo below of friends Steve & Nava posing with one ironic movie title in particular…

11-24-13 - Our Wedding! (1)

-So yeah, we got married in November! Want further pictorial evidence? Alright…

New York City Wedding Photography


Toward the end of 2013 things calmed down a bit. I was working full-time,and in school full-time, but felt ready to return to this movie blog. BUT…I didn’t know where to start…and truthfully I still don’t. I had continued to watch streams of movies, and never stopped my plan to create a post about each and every one. But what started as my being behind by one or two movies, became one or two dozen, and at this point I haven’t written about scores of movies. Anyone who has read a single one of my blog posts knows that even my shorter posts tend to be essays, and it’s hard for me to do anything half-arsed (pardon my “English”).

I continued to create the skeletons of each movie blog I would hope to create, and there are now many dozens of drafts which are simply the movie posters and synopsis, collecting dust, and waiting for me to add some personal content. So here is my plan, and my “New Year’s Resolution” for 2013. I will revisit the movies I saw this past year, but actually write short blurbs – not novellas. This way at least each one will be documented for posterity, and anyone reading can at least see the bottom-line that stems from my warped, movie-loving brain.

And what better way to begin than with my 2013 movie tally? My friends always look forward to this overview of my year, and some of them even use it as bizarre motivation to see MORE movies with me, so they can move higher up in the ranks the next year. I find that both hilarious, and flattering at the same time!

My movie tally is calculated using an admittedly bizarre method, and I think this will be the last year I do it in this way. Let me explain for those  who are virgins to my process…

The following is the count of movies which were RELEASED IN USA THEATERS IN 2013. This means some of these movies were seen in 2014, but they actually came out last year. This process is strange, and often means I’m counting movies which were released for a week for Oscar contention and then properly released again this year, so I’ve decided that after being mocked for doing it this way for years (instead of just counting how many I saw in a calendar year), I will change things NEXT time around…

Final count for 2013 releases seen by me in a movie theater:

-135 movies total

-This is surprisingly close to last year’s total of 139

-This is still DOWN from my historic average of 150

Overall considering the crazy busy year I had, not too shabby…

Now for the fun breakdown, the people who I saw multiple movies with, starting with the obvious:

  • Adi – 87 (Down from 106 in 2012, but considering she was also planning a wedding with me, as well as starting a new job that involves her frequent travel, I’d say it’s a pretty darn awesome number!)
  • Josh B. – 16 (Once again second place after Adi. The most “what the hell did I just see” moment in any movie of this year: Tie between the nudity in Trance, and the windshield scene in The Counselor.)
  • Jared – 15 (Nipping at Josh’s heels, though most of them were in the first half of 2013. The nicest movie theater experience I had all year: Elysium, at the iPic theater in Pasadena.)
  • Yoni – 6 (If he didn’t live in the valley, no doubt this would be a higher number. The most FUN we had watching a movie last year: Tyler Perry’s Temptation: Confessions Of A Marriage Counselor.)
  • Elizabeth – 6 (Had a lot of fun seeing movies with Josh’s better half, but possibly the most underrated movie I saw last year: the extremely witty Beautiful Creatures.)
  • Ephraim – 6 (Many great examples here, but I’ll go with one of my biggest disappointments of 2013: A Good Day To Die Hard.)
  • Abe – 6 (The multi-way tie continues with the always-entertaining Abe, whose geeky side best shines through when seeing something like: Star Trek Into Darkness)
  • Farnaz – 5 (Abe’s far prettier half enjoyed most movies we saw together last year, but not this frat-humor one: 21 & Over.)
  • Shira G. – 5 (The most insane “we just drove an hour in the car to see this double feature”: Planes followed by Smurfs 2.)
  • Avish – 4 (The most disappointing movie of the year, given my expectations after watching the previews: The Secret Life Of Walter Mitty.)
  • Howard – 3 (The most funny, gory, brainless sequel this year could possibly offer: Machete Kills.)
  • Patrick – 3 (A hell of a great movie-going weekend: Saturday night – The Wolf Of Wall Street, Sunday morning – Nebraska. Awesomeness.)
  • Matti – 3 (I still resent that Matti moved away to the mid-west, because who else do I have to see crap like Safe Haven with now, if not him? The madness!)
  • Mike B. – 3 (One of my former “top movie-going friends” and someone I believe will move higher in the ranks next year. Movie that most exemplifies multiple layers of our friendship: Runner Runner.)

That finishes my roundup for the year. If I want to go really dark with my humor, I could now do an “In Memoriam” for the people who made the list last year but who now seemed to have better things to do with their time than sit in a dark room with me for 2 hours. I’m looking at you Nicole, Cindy and Harwin (among others). What happened?!

On that accusatory note, I finish my welcome-back blog, and look forward to many many SHORT catch-ups in the foreseeable future, where I continue to invite you to peer into my movie-addled brain and enjoy the show.


15 Responses to “The 2013 Boaz Movie Tally (Where Have I Been?!)”

  1. movierob March 25, 2014 at 6:31 am #

    Welcome back from the dead Boaz.

    You inspired my blog and I have now posted over 600 movie reviews since then. My theater count is in the single digits 🙂

    Can’t wait to start seeing your new reviews!

    BTW, Mazal tov!


    • boazconstrictor March 26, 2014 at 12:42 am #

      Rob, I may have inspired your blog, but you have run with it and made it an incredible and possibly even more “obsessive” experience, and I mean that in the best of ways! 🙂
      Thanks so much for the continued support from the east!


      • movierob April 3, 2014 at 5:54 am #

        Thanks Boaz. Look forward to reading lots more of your “mini” reviews 🙂


  2. dale March 25, 2014 at 6:34 am #

    well i want to know what you thought of the play “harmony”. . .your mom-in-law, dale


    • boazconstrictor March 26, 2014 at 12:41 am #

      I didn’t end up seeing that one actually, I’ve missed the last few Ahmanson shows unfortunately!


  3. Jeremy Goodell March 25, 2014 at 6:41 am #

    Welcome back. As a new 2013 follower, this is actually the first new post I’ve ever seen from you. Congrats on the marriage and other life changes — you’ve come a ways since Blockbuster.


    • boazconstrictor March 26, 2014 at 12:35 am #

      Thanks so much Jeremy, those Blockbuster days are so long ago now, but they certainly made for a hell of a great story! 🙂
      Thanks for reading!


  4. Sue Pearl March 25, 2014 at 9:14 am #

    Great that you are resuming your movie blog!


  5. Mum Hepner March 25, 2014 at 10:30 am #

    Hibernating or taking a cruise? Welcome home!


  6. Josh March 25, 2014 at 4:38 pm #

    Start with Noah, which comes out this Friday. Should be a cool show. Welcome back! I’ll be sure to chime in with my 2 cents.


    • boazconstrictor March 26, 2014 at 12:33 am #

      Ha, thanks, but I am more likely to start with short updates about movies I saw since my previous post and play some catchup 🙂


  7. zralston March 26, 2014 at 9:49 am #

    Great to see you posting again, Boaz. And how sad that the # of films we saw together is still 0. (Especially because my # of 2013 releases totaled 86). I’m on my way to see ENEMY today, with SABOTAGE and THE RAID 2 coming up this weekend/next week.

    I highly recommend JODOROWSKY’S DUNE, my favorite 2014 release so far.


    • boazconstrictor March 26, 2014 at 8:25 pm #

      I heard only good things about Dune, actually never saw the actual Lynch version nor read the book, I should one of these days no matter how bad it’s supposed to be!
      Yes, you need to see me for not only movies but also playing poker together my friend, it’s on you at this point…. lol


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