Tag Archives: Jeff Astrof

The Trinity Killer & My Unborn Child

6 Dec

How did this happen?

Thank you smart aleck, I get how Adi got knocked up (with a little help from me), but how did movie/TV obsessed Boaz react when his wife suddenly showed him an 11 second video of John freaking Lithgow announcing that she was pregnant?!

Our story starts the previous day, October 14th, 2017. ‘Twas the night before Adi’s sold-out Friends of Sheba gala, and she wasn’t quite feeling right. Our friend Farnaz just a few days earlier INSISTED that she was probably pregnant (“You’re totally pregnant….I’m SURE of it…trust me, you’ll see I’m right, just you wait, you’ll seeeeee…”), but both of us laughed it off because she wasn’t even “late” yet, and besides, with Adi’s Ulcerative Colitis, feeling “off” is often par for the course.

So here she was, Saturday night, 48 hours later, trying on her gown for the next day, worried like so many wives out there that it “won’t fit”, and unbeknownst to me, also peeing on a stick. I was in the next room entertaining friends, “Boaz, can you come in here a minute?” She showed me a PLUS (+) sign and I needed no further catch-up…the second came soon after, and had a solid line through it, and the 3rd and final idiot-proof test said the word PREGNANT in big letters. For the time being, my boot-camp going wife’s “not fitting the same” into a dress would be the cause of smiles instead of frustrations.

Cautious micro-celebrations ensued, we discussed it, and my EXTREMELY cautious nature kicked into overdrive…between friends and siblings just about everywhere we looked, someone had suffered a miscarriage (or two). Our friend Chari had even written a short but powerful graphic novel about her traumatic experience which went viral 5 months earlier (I strongly recommend you check it out here).

We were not going to assume anything, this was a first-time experience for each of us, and we didn’t want to tell ANYONE for a bit, not even our parents. But Adi definitely had some extra pep in her step going into the gala, replacing some of the usual jangled nerves she has each year as her organization’s big night unfolds.

Then I spotted John Lithgow. This guy is huge. Not just 6 foot 4 inches, but everyone from every age group knows and loves him. For cinephiles he’s the wonderful early Transgender character from The World According To Garp, for kids he’s the memorably evil voice of Shrek‘s Lord Farquaad, for action junkies he’s the bad guy hamming it up in Cliffhanger, for Netflix binge-watchers he’s a perfect Winston Churchill in The Crown, and for everybody and their mother he’s the zany alien patriarch in 3rd Rock From The Sun; but for me he’ll always be the Trinity Killer, the very best part of Dexter, and right up there with Hannibal Lecter as one of the best/creepiest depictions of a serial killer ever. What an acting legend!

I asked Adi to PLEASE tell me if there’s a good time to get a photo-op with him. I told her that my dream idea was to get one photo with him trying to murder me à la Dexter, and another with him looking totally goofy, reminiscent of not only 3rd Rock From The Sun, but also his hilarious new show Trial & ErrorNever heard of that one? It just happens to be created by our talented friend Jeff Astrof, who also wrote a key part of Lithgow’s presentation at the gala, and between getting rave reviews and my own opinion, it’s hilarious! Adi told me she’d see if there was time for me to meet him later, I was left hoping.

Here’s where people and events started to collide. Another highly talented actor was present, by the name of Stuart Pankin. My favorite roles of his range from being the star of Dinosaurs, to the best friend in Fatal Attraction. I had worked with and befriended him years earlier, and enjoyed introducing him to Jeff Astrof who was a huge fan of his from watching Not Necessarily The News ; Pankin in turn asked me to reconnect him with Lithgow who he’d worked with ages ago. Are you with me so far?

So here I was, as you can see below, having just reconnected these great actors, and this is where the story comes together…

closeup

Boaz – Mr. Pankin, Mr. Lithgow, they’d like to take some photographs of you two please.

(Both of them are laughing and crying and truly enjoying seeing one another after many years.)

Pankin – Happy to, Boaz. (Walks to the camera backdrop.)

Boaz – Mr. Lithgow, I just want to tell you what an honor and pleasure it is to meet you after all these years, I’m a HUGE fan.

Lithgow – That’s very kind.

Boaz – By the way, my wife is Adi Hepner, she’s told me how great you’ve been to work with.

Lithgow – OH! Adi’s your wife? CONGRATULATIONS on the great news!!!

Boaz – (Wondering what the heck he could be referring to, it couldn’t be what I’m thinking of, right?) Thank you but I don’t know what you’re talking about.

Lithgow – I don’t understand, I thought I just filmed a video with her about it…

Boaz – I think you’re mixing us up, Adi is also known as Adina, she…

(Nina Lieberman, Adi’s Executive Director hearing our rather loud conversation, leans in and interjects, “The cat’s out of the bag Boaz, Adi told us, congratulations on the baby”)

Lithgow – (Smiling broadly) See?!

Boaz – (In the loudest whisper of all time) OH MY GOD SHUT THE FUCK UP, MY PARENTS DON’T EVEN KNOW YET, AND ARE RIGHT OVER THERE – WE JUST FOUND OUT YESTERDAY, BE QUIET!

To be fair, considering I had just cursed out an A-list actor in a state of utter panic, his reaction was adorable… he simply smiled, and pantomimed someone zipping his mouth sealed.

I then walked him to Stuart Pankin where a series of awesome photos were taken including this one below, a moment after the “incident”.

10-15-17 - Sheba Gala (57)

I was praying nobody else heard that very loud conversation, and it appeared to have been kept under wraps thanks to the many other loud conversations all around us. Later that night I cornered Adi and said, “Is there something you want to tell me? Is there a reason John Lithgow knows you’re pregnant?!”

And to that she simply smiled, and said, “He told you? Damn, I was really hoping to show you this as a surprise in a few months when we tell people, but here’s a gift for you”. And she had an ear-to-ear grin as I watched the following:

Well played wife, well played…

Baby GIRL Hepner due June 21st, 2018, already having caused quite the splash.

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